| Saturday, January 10, 2009 |
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Misc #8
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The true measure of a lesson learned by heart is in everyday life.
Another year... And I guess I haven't learned much after all. 
But we shall see... Keep your finger's crossed...Labels: rantings |
posted by remrick @ 3:25 PM  |
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Misc #7: Migraines
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Migraines are back. 
It's been so long... I'm not used to the pain anymore. The same throbbing, head-splitting pain day in and day out, lasting for weeks at a time. It's excruciating. Makes me wanna scream, but it doesn't get any better. Worse, even. Now, I'm a paracetamol junkie. LOL.
Funny, 'coz the whole time I didn't have them was one of the most extreme emotional rollercoasters of my life. One of God's ways of not giving us more than we can handle? Or more importantly, a sign that things will get better? Headaches over heartaches? Ha! Headaches.  Definitely.  Labels: inside the self, rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 3:18 PM |
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Misc #6: Leavetakings
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We live in Surigao but we had to travel to Butuan, 3 hours away, to catch a plane ride with a 500 peso price tag. Before we left, Grandpa specifically asked for me so he could impart some advice on taking exams. Funny. Funnier still, 'coz I won't be taking anymore exams in my thesis-only semester.
Mom sent me off with 200 bucks as bus fare, promising to send my allowance within the week. Papa tells my three siblings to "feed your brother," but we don't live under the same roof. If it weren't for Auntie's pamasko, my pockets would be empty and I'd probably be added to the hunger incidence statistics of the SWS.
I've said my goodbyes to Northeastern Mindanao's rainy, humid weather and mist-shrouded mountains... Along with my hometown's tasty inasal and cheap barbecue joints.
It's time to leave again, and like Manila, the year ahead looms darkly before me - a perplexity and a source of potential stress. But what the heck, right? Happy new year, anyway.Labels: inside the self, rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 3:09 PM |
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Misc #4
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The room was thick with smoke. I remember the fog at the UP campus at its thickest, that's how it was. Except that it was a barabecue-flavored byproduct of charcoal combustion.
My sister and I ordered food and found ourselves a table. Over at the next table, a couple of Chinoy kids ate with their hands, capping off their meal with some isaw while their SUV was parked right outside the window.
This is what I love about Surigao... Great food, the best isaw and inasal I've ever tasted, in fact, - at dirt cheap prices... And the fact that nobody's really rich enough to look down on you in this town. Well, they could. But it's not like I'm saying they would. And the fact that they do and enjoy some of the very same things that we, common people, do - like eating isaw at a cheap barbecue joint at the Pier - tends to even things out a bit.  Labels: rantings, Surigao |
| posted by remrick @ 2:55 PM |
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Misc #3
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I just thought about what would happen if I lost my legs... Quite a morbid thought, I know. Kinda typical of me, at times. 
But anyway, where was I? Ah, yes... The losing-my-legs part.... Then I imagined that when I get to heaven, I'd have a perfect resurrection body and there'd be lots of beautiful places for wonderful, solitary walks. But then I realized, maybe I wouldn't want to wander by then. After all, when God is at the center of everything, no matter what the reason, how could you walk away? Would there be anything else worth seeing, any thought worth entertaining, than the One who is above all, through all, and in all?  Labels: inside the self, rantings, the walk |
| posted by remrick @ 2:49 PM |
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Misc #2
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Seeing old classmates and playmates all grown up now still startles me, in a way. Grownup in appearance at least, if none the wiser. Much like myself, I dare say. Labels: rantings, Surigao |
| posted by remrick @ 2:46 PM |
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Misc #1
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There I was, stuck at a Mercury drugstore one afternoon, staring at the rain falling on the busy, black, asphalt roadway outside. A thought came drifting out of nowhere, and I asked myself: why doesn't it rain like this in Manila?
Then I realized, Manila would be unbearable if it had Surigao's weather. Lots of rain, heat and humidity plus equally generous amounts of congestion and pollution is a recipe for a tropical urban nightmare.  Labels: rantings, Surigao, weather |
| posted by remrick @ 1:48 PM |
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| Monday, December 08, 2008 |
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new eyes
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It sure is weird.
To gaze upon a blurred world... where all images have lost their sharpness and details are hard to make out... *Sighs*
My eyes are going bad. My vision is failing me.
How ironic that it should come at a time like this - just when my eyes had finally been opened again, so too does my eyesight waver.
It saddens and scares me a bit. As a kid, my vision had always been sharp. I was quick to spot things and details that my parents, and most people around me, failed to notice. Intuition would tell me something was wrong with big picture and I'd find the details that some people just missed. Now, I'm starting to wonder if it's really going all the way downhill from here or if I could still recover what I've lost.
What caused the deterioration? Could it be those endless nights when I poured out my tears to the Lord just recently? Or simply too much reading in less-than-ideal-conditions and time spent in front of the computer?
Whatever. I guess, if worse comes to worst, I'd just have to live with it. Maybe get myself a pair of glasses. Or rather, get Mom to get me a pair of glasses. But that would entail a visit to good ol' Doc Vic first, and then maybe to an ophthalmologist/optometrist/whatever...
By the way, I wonder how Marlo's doing? Is he graduating from the Ateneo honors program this year, too? But, I'm ranting too much already so this'll be all for now...Labels: rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 5:23 PM |
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| Saturday, December 06, 2008 |
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storms
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Something familiar rises up from within...
A slow buildup of exhilaration and yes, even a touch of melancholy...
Moonlight, clear skies and a cold wind rushing through the trees... This night is perfect.
If I didn't know any better, it looks as if a storm was brewing, making its presence felt just before it made landfall. It reminds me of memories... of childhood... of home...
After all, I did grow up in a storm-prone province, along the northeastern coast of Mindanao - practically the only place in the island that was within the typhoon belt.
I was raised in an environment where frequent typhoons are a fact of life. Although it does not in any way diminish the destructive power of these tropical cyclones, you do get used to it. How do we cope? We dig in and weather the storm. If there's damage, repair and rebuild if necessary. That simple. That's just how it is. No use complaining about something you can't change.
As a matter of fact, storms were, in a twisted way, a cause for celebration for us children. It meant cold weather, suspension of classes, and stocking up on food - prefect conditions for staying at home, sleeping, and slouching around. Except when the power goes out.
Of course, we had no idea about the damage, destruction and death that followed in the wake of these storms. The bad things didn't concern us. Our house would get damaged but this would only occasion minor repairs. The whole place would get dirty with mud, branches and all sorts of things blown in by wind or stranded by the floodwaters, but Mom and Dad, along with the other grownups, did most of the cleaning anyway. They wouldn't dare let us handle the pieces of metal roofs that lay around or the snakes that would get stranded inside the house.
Although storms are frequent back home, it never does get as cold as it is here. It's always hot and fairly humid back there, and it only gets cold when the rains come. But here in the Metro, the air actually chills with the approach of December - regardless of whether it gets rainy or not. That's why the carol says "malamig ang simoy ng hangin," and now I truly what that means.
Within two weeks, I'll be heading home again. The first time in about 9 months. I've never been away from home for so long. It makes me excited... I want to know what's new in Surigao and how much has changed since I was last there... but at the same time, there's some sort of unease... It's hard to come back to a place one calls "home" after so long... And the conveniences of city living would be drastically reduced: no malls and movie theaters, no 24-hour convenience stores and less fastfood choices. Oh well, at least I know I'll get my fill of eating and sleeping when I get home. I just need to make sure I pack a lot of books, mp3s, and dvds when I get home. LOL.
It's also the first Christmas that we won't all be together as a family. One of my sisters is staying here to work through the holidays. We'll sure miss her - I know I will. She's the only sanguine among us siblings, and the rest are just either choleric or mels - 0r both.
Imagine spending Christmas with a bunch of those!
Oh well, I'll just turn phleg-mel again. I'm sure I'll survive.
Happy Holidays in advance everyone! Labels: rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 8:54 PM |
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| Thursday, December 04, 2008 |
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small things to smile about
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We went to the SSS Main Office the other day for thesis related-work. We eventually found our way to the real estate department and the room was buzzing with office work. People were either pounding away on their desktops or shuffling to and fro with their papers. It was another day at the SSS.
It was a bit intimidating to just barge and declare our business, intruders as we were. Thankfully, the people were quite friendly and accommodating. And yes, there was a good chance that we were getting at least some of the more important data that we would be needing.
There was one interesting experience, too.
Lady: So anong year niyo na?
Karla and I: Fourth year po....
Lady: Ang babata niyo pa ah..!
That's strike two for me. 
The room was freezing cold... as it was about two years ago when Abe and I were there to participate in "PolitiKalokohan," the quiz show by the UP APSM.
Fast forward to the present, and there we were again, in that very same room. This time, it was "Powerpaly 2.0," another quiz show by another PoliSci org, UP Politika.
And guess what? Just like the last time, we clinched the top spot. That's 1500 php for you. Thanks to a our combined know-how, a bit of luck, some serious buzzer beating and related reflexes, and my partner's extensive experience in the game (Abe happens to be a veteran when it come to UP quiz shows). And of course, the Almighty's provision.
As we were walking back to the dorm, Abe told me how he feels as if God uses moments like these to provide for his needs. The last time we won, he was also financially in need. And that realization, is a prize in itself.
That night, we went with Al to Starbucks at the Araneta Center. We didn't really buy anything, except for Al who ordered his favorite Caramel Machiato. We spent four hours just discussing about things, reading the papers, and surfing the internet.
I like the shop's layout and the fact that it isn't too cold, unlike in other Starbucks stores. Plus, the Araneta Center's tree-lined streets were once again bright with lights for the Christmas season. Add to that the cool, foggy air - it was a perfect night to just go out and unwind.Labels: rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 2:08 PM |
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| Saturday, November 22, 2008 |
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smiley
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At a focus group discussion group on political communication...
*GTKY time*
Facilitator: Okay, let's introduce ourselves para hindi naman tayo magkailangan...
*rounds of names*
Faci: So anong year niyo na?
Bevs: 3rd year...
Justin: 2nd year...
Me: 4th year...
Faci: Talaga? Di halata ah...
*Guy at the back agrees; mild laughter ensues*
Me: Talaga? Uh... thank you..?
But seriously, I immensely enjoyed the experience of intelcourse (intellectual discourse, that is)... We had food afterwards, and the organizers from CMC were friendly and so much fun... It was really nice, and I wouldn't mind doing it again.
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After a looong time, I finally got to spend some serious QT with God last night... Two hours of meditating on His word and pouring my heart out in prayer... Of struggling with Him and with myself... God stilled the storm inside me and gave me peace... 
I had only five hours of sleep but I slept so soundly all the while... It's been so long...
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By the way, I walked home from Philcoa all the way to the dorm last night...
My parents are probably gonna kill me if they find out, but it isn't as bad as some people may think. In fact, the new street lamps at the entrance to the University Avenue has lit up the place quite nicely. I made sure to walk along the edge of the street itself, casually making sure that I wasn't being followed and that there were no suspicious people I should be avoiding, and walking briskly like I usually do...
It was cold, foggy and eerily quiet on campus, save for the sound of my own footsteps, as it was already past midnight. I noticed that they didn't turn off the lights at the base of the Oblation like they usually do at 9pm, while the "UP @ 100" at the top of Quezon Hall was unlit. And at the area at the back of Quezon Hall, there was someone in a jacket reading a book under the lamp light. At first glance, I thought it was a woman but when I looked back I wasn't so sure anymore because he/she/it looked like a guy. Then I met two other people walking along the oval, aside from the SSB. The second one was a sino-guy (who was probably Jap or Korean) swinging his arnis as he walked.
I arrived at the dorm at 12:40, numbed by the cold outside. But, it was worth it. I enjoyed the walk and the cool air. And the time for introspection. So much for pretending to be have my wits about me.Labels: rantings, the walk |
| posted by remrick @ 4:32 PM |
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| Thursday, November 20, 2008 |
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Dying, dying... dead
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Light a candle and send some flowers for this blog.
I just can't seem to write anything anymore. (Is it because my uber-introverted phleg-mel self has been overpowered by my chlor-san tendencies of late?) Often, a lot of ideas would come to mind but I never could muster the will to put them down into words. And so they fade away until they finally escape me... *Sighs*
It's actually a bit worrying. I've always loved to write. Even if they're just rantings. But now... I just can't write anymore... It isn't like me at all... What's happening? Is something wrong with me?Labels: rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 6:06 PM |
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| Wednesday, August 27, 2008 |
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the symptoms of an illness
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Exam results are out.
Mediocre. All of them. Except for that first exam in physics... but man, the second exam was confusing. And I'm not expecting any 1.0s in accounting or philo for that matter. Man, I need to get back into my game. This is my last opportunity to perform. Three years of effort - I'm so close - and I'm just gonna lose it? No, pride isn't and an I'm-gonna-prove-myself attitude isn't the answer. I need to get on my knees.
Some of the consequences of my negligence may already be irreversible, but I can at least try to mitigate them. I might not be able to get 1.0s anymore, but I can still try to get as close as possible.
I need to fix this. Among other things. God-willing.Labels: rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 11:21 PM |
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| Saturday, July 26, 2008 |
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movies
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Got this from Kule, in the colum "Survival of the Fittest":
(open letter to *)
by Dianne Kaye Precioso
"...I don't remember movies too much, but I remember you were at the ones we watched together. I won't be able to watch their sequels for a while. Not when I still expect to reach out and hold your hands at the scary parts, or to hear you crack up at the jokes..."
I don't remember movies much, either. But yes, the best thing about movies is having someone else's hand filling your own and a loved one's laughter filling your ears. Those things can warm the heart in any cold movie theater anytime.Labels: rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 8:20 AM |
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| Saturday, July 19, 2008 |
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Sorry, I just got up.
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I'm back. Up and running again.
I've been better, but this is definitely an improvement from the quagmire that was me for the past few weeks..
I thank God for picking me up again.
I hope I get this dependence thing right. Ugh, please please please.. I'm finding my way back. Yes!
Life's faded colors are coming alive for me once more. Praise God.
I wanna scream: I'm alive!Labels: rantings, the walk |
| posted by remrick @ 6:15 PM |
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| Saturday, June 28, 2008 |
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I hate Globe..
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I expected better from an Ayala-owned corporation.. Grrr...
The text messages are delayed and sometimes they never get received at all.. And at times, it takes hours to register for texting services like unlitxt.. and the telcos keep on bragging that texting services like these effectively make sms rates in the country one of the lowest in the world! Ha! Why don't they just bring down the standard rates? Rather than make consumers register for these services, which, at times is virtually impossible...Labels: ragings, rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 11:22 AM |
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| Wednesday, June 04, 2008 |
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blog leave
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Haven't got anything to write of late.. Or rather, I haven't felt like writing much since the summer.. The things I could write about, I believe, should rather be left unsaid.. It's just too darn complicated.. Talk about dilemmas! I've been encountering them, along with trial after trial, failure after failure, and so many more sandwiched in between since last year.. It's a wonder how I'm still standing.. barely, but by God's grace.
So many things have happened.. And I've got to fix a quite a few things, too.. No quick fixes, no easy answers, hard roads to take, and it's really gonna hurt.. And they are all too real. *Sighs*
I wonder what will come out of all this.. Or when and where will it all end? I don't know.. At least grant me a respite.. Somebody gimme a break..
Meanwhile, it's a struggle moment by moment.. I knew it was gonna be hard, but I had no idea it was gonna be this hard.. And there's so much more to come..
Bahala na. Sige lang.Labels: rantings, the walk |
| posted by remrick @ 2:29 PM |
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| Friday, May 23, 2008 |
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wee
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For the past years, I usually haven't been getting the typical presents on my birthday..
But before the dorm closed after summer classes, I got three gifts from my friends.. It's been a long time since I received the usual birthday gift, with the tags, ribbons, and wrapping and all.. Hahaha! I can't thank you guys enough.. I really am so grateful to and for all of you.. ;pLabels: rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 2:24 PM |
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| Monday, May 19, 2008 |
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summer's over
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Summer classes have ended.
I won't be going home anymore.
Maybe until next year. Ah, I dunno..
My birthday's coming up, though. *smiles*
The rains have come. And along with them, a lot of things have been washed away. Yet in spite of the gloom from the overcast skies, rays of light continue to shine. And a lot of treasures have been revealed.. Cleansed by the rain. Shining in the faltering light.Labels: inside the self, rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 4:18 PM |
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| Thursday, May 15, 2008 |
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I can dream.. raayt?
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I don't usually do this sort of stuff.. I never bother with wish lists, but what the heck..
It's my birthday after all; at least let me dream.. If they come true, then I'll be thankful;
if not, then I haven't got anything to lose.. So here I go..
I wanna..:
- Learn a new language
I know quite a few, but I haven't really mastered most of them.. Still, it's exciting to learn a new language though..
- Get a cute, cuddly cat
Gimme Garfield, or at least something close.. please?
- Go to a secluded beach resort with friends
I actually have a place in mind.. It's a far-off atoll called Pig-ot in my home-province.. Beautiful place..
The simple things:
- A bible bag
or case, or holder, or whatever you call it...
- An artwork
It doesn't have to be a masterpiece by some renowned artist; I'm not asking for the expensive stuff,
I just want something personally crafted.. preferrably about me, hehe..
- Christian books
- Fantasy fic books
- Anything chocolate
Yum!
- A cake
Sorry, blame the sweet tooth..
- A turtle!
The real thing or stuff toys, any will do.. Basta...
Materialist me:
- A casual belt
- A bag
A sling bag would be nice..
- A jacket
- A Motorola L7i
Dream on:
- A laptop
Uh, can I say that I need it for my thesis..? *innocent look*
- A digi-SLR camera
Oh my.. (!)
- A castle-like estate in the English countryside
Way far-off, I know..
Intangibles:
- Healing
And I'm not talking of the physical kind..
- A breakthrough in my spiritual growth
- Maturity in my faithLabels: rantings |
| posted by remrick @ 5:01 PM |
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