Ranting away...

Saturday, January 27, 2007
Breather

If there’s one word that aptly describes the midterms period in UP, it’s “suffocating.” For me, that’s exactly what I experienced.

Whew. After two weeks of a flurry of academic activities, rushed classes, dreadful deadlines, and grueling exams, I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Yes, I’m through with the midterms. Though there are still some marked events on my calendar, I can say that the worst is over. That is, until the finals come end of March. But that’s a problem for later. We’ll get there when we get there.

Anyway, up until now it had gotten to a point when I was literally drowning in my academics. My table was a mess: readings, course notes, papers, and an assortment of what-have-you had piled up to such an extent that would have put the words “disorderly” and even “chaotic” to shame. My bed was perennially unkempt, and my cabinet had turned into a dump. Add to that my classes and numerous requirements, and you’ll start to get the feel of how it is to be mentally and literally asphyxiated.

But I’ve finished cleaning up my closet, clearing my table, and I’ve tried – believe me, I have – putting some order into my personal spaces in our room. Now, I don’t have to flinch every time I look at my stuff. And, pardon the cliché, I just feel like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

And just in time, too. My parents are arriving here on Sunday to attend my sister’s induction into an honors society on Wednesday. But I think it’s just an excuse to check up on all four of us here in Mega Manila. This is the chance to get them to buy me some stuff, like a new pair of shoes for that matter.

I feel so relieved right now. Ditch the oxygen mask, fling the curtains and open the windows wide… I’m taking a breather.

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posted by remrick @ 1:39 PM   3 comments
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Battered and beaten…

January 16, 2007

1:02 am


Congratulate me… I’ve had another rough day. Yippee. I’m dripping with sarcasm.

As of the moment, I’m beat. My right hand and fingers are hurting, and my eyes can’t make out faraway objects. That’s what you get from writing down study guides in three subjects (which I still haven’t finished), and spending most of the evening reading up to your nose. As if the mental torture of the day past wasn’t enough. Sheesh.

It started with our quiz in Mathematical Economics. And oh boy, did I mess that one up. It was my fault, really. I completely forgot about the first topics of the quiz’s coverage. Those were like, so last year. I didn’t even know they were going to be included in the quiz. So I wasn’t able to review them. So my mind went blank. So there goes about a third of my score, too. Blank. There you have it: how I totally butchered that test. That’s strike one.

Oooh, I can almost picture Ma’am Navarro’s stern face, breaking into a mixture of devilish delight and strong disapproval as she frowns/smirks over my paper and my pitiful results… Just joking. That was just my imagination talking.

Then I met a couple of Koreans at the Sunken Garden as I was on my way to CAL. I think they were also the ones that had stopped me on my way to Econ before, because they told me, “Do you have time now?”

It was still 3:15, we were dismissed early in my Econ 191 class, and my next class was at 4 pm, so I had no excuse. Besides, I don’t lie to people anymore, especially since they looked like they needed help.

So that’s how I met Jean (guy) and Mi (girl). We sat on the grass, and Jean took out some sort of album and starts asking me questions about God.

At first, I thought they were some sort of Christian missionaries or something. Jean showed me diagrams of God and humans, and pairs of creatures. Then he asked me if I believe in “Father God.” I said yes, of course. Then he asked a question that bowled me over and almost sent me rolling the down the slope. “Do you know the Kata Mata (I don’t know if I’m spelling this right)? The Holy Mother of Heaven?” he said.

Holy Mother of – what?!

It turns out that they believe in a divine family where there are two supreme deities: one is male and the other is female. Jean then showed me Bible verses, which purportedly supports their belief that God has a ‘wife.’ From the “bride” in Revelation to quotes from Genesis: “Let us make man in our own image… male and female he made them,” among others. It was so weird.

And every time I try to explain to them, from a Christian point of view, of how those verses should be interpreted, Jean would say “Oh no, don’t think. This come from God. This what God says,” which was of course, illogical for him to say. He was in fact, telling me to take their word for it that these verses mean what they wanted them to mean, claiming it to be “what God says,” and telling me not to interpret in any other way.

By the way, Jean did almost all the talking. Mi just played the supporting role, and kept on nodding and smiling. Finally they asked for my name, address and phone number. I was having second thoughts because after all they were virtually strangers, and it was personal info they were asking for. But again, I didn’t want to lie.

So they told me they’d contact me o Wednesday and that I should think about it. Oh great. Just great. It was one freaky experience, but maybe God has His reasons. It could be an opportunity to share the Gospel with them, God-willing. Just one thing: Next time, be ready with your Bible Rem. Anyway, that was strike number two.

The last round of the series of unfortunate events came from my Spanish class. Actually, Ma’am Villar spent almost all of the time criticizing our dialogos and telling us how disappointing we were. Towards the end of the period (she must have noticed we were running out of time), she gave us our first exam results and preliminary grades.

My score in the exam? 49/70. Do I hear cheering and applause? Never mind. And how about my preliminary grade? A whopping 2.0 (88.9, to be exact), the same grade as my dialogo. To get a 1.0, I need to be in the 98-100 range. A 3.0 would be between 74 and 77, if I remember right. And a 93 would just give me 1.5. Imagine that? Who says UP professors have such high standards? I’ve never a professor that more generous in giving grades than Ma’am Villar. For that, she deserves the Gawad Chancellor for Outstanding Faculty Member.

Asar. If that wasn’t depressing, I don’t know what is. And that’s strike three for me.

I’m out.

2:32 am

… but still standing

Considering all that I’ve been through, it’s a wonder how I haven’t slept it all off and that I’m still wide awake at this hour. Blame the coffee and the chocolates.

When confronted with such stressful and depressing circumstances, what does one do? To whom does one turn to? My answer: food. Yeah, good ‘ol comfort food.

I bought myself cans of ice coffee (even if considerable amounts tend to send my tummy tumbling), bars of chocolate (even if lots of it give a headache and aggravate my bouts of migraine), and took out food from Mcdo (even fastfood fare is unhealthy). And I had already had dinner, at that. You could just imagine my depression-driven appetite. Or the sheer elasticity of my stomach.

And, in fairness, they worked. I’m not depressed anymore, just a bit… out of sync. And, so far, there are none of the usual caffeine-cocoa-cholesterol side effects. And it’s better to eat while studying so you don’t get bored and tired easily. But there’s one unanticipated side effect, though – now, I can’t sleep. By now, it’s almost 3 am and I’m still all perked up. And all the while I thought I had already grown immune from the effects of caffeine…

Well, maybe if I try to get some sleep, I’ll make some progress. I just hope I don’t end up twisting and turning all night, instead.

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posted by remrick @ 2:32 PM   0 comments
Stuff

January 14, 2007

Okay, for a change this post is about -bleep-. I am not going to write about you-don't-know-who, because frankly, I've had enough of me and my stupid self and my sorry sentiments. And just to clear things up, I am not bitter. Just a bit pissed of at my self - and for many good reasons.
Last time, I mentioned loads of acad stuff piling up on me. And I wasn't exaggerating. My calendar is full of deadlines and important events (i.e. exams, quizzes, reports, etc.) until the second week of February. I'm trying to live life one day at a time, hoping that as time progresses, I'll make a dent on my workload. But I seem to be getting nowhere. They just keep piling up! I wish I could find it in myself to be more motivated and hardworking, but I'm just to darn lazy.
And my scholarship benefits for the second semester still haven't arrived yet. It usually comes around the middle of January. I'm hoping it'll be wired to my ATM account by this week. Not that I desperately need the money. Hey, my parents can still support my education (or so they say) even if there are three of us in the university right now. But it's kinda awkward to be totally dependent on them and having to ask for cash every now and then. Even if I do pay for my tuition and survive on my stipends for most of the month. It's just weird not to have that certain degree of financial independence, you know what I mean.
On a brighter note, one of my sisters is graduating this year. And because she's a candidate for magna cum laude, I'm quite certain my parents will be coming here to attend the University Graduation Ceremonies. I'm excited 'coz it'll be my first time to attend the ceremonies. Who wouldn't want to picture himself attending the said ceremonies one day? Who wouldn't want to earn a degree from the UP? Who doesn't dream of graduating with honors and donning the toga and alibata-inscribed sablay of the University of the Philippines? I do. Even if it's still a hard, long way to go.
My other sister in Los Baños is also set to finish her engineering course (hopefully) by the end of the first semester next academic year. She's still gotta take the board exam, but considering UPLB's nearly 100% passing rates, I'm confident she'll ace it. So that leaves just me.
As for myself, I need a reality check. No sense trying to look up ahead too far, when at present, there are stumbling blocks that have to be hurdled. There are seemingly inconsequential stones that just might trip you if you've got your head too high up in the clouds.
For the moment, forget the fluff Rem. I really do need to do something about my academic stuff. So start plucking you eyes off the computer screen and move your lazy butt. Now.

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posted by remrick @ 2:31 PM   0 comments
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Renaissance

I can't believe I finally managed to fix my blog after I-can't-remember-how-long. Guess all it took was an upgrade, some tweaking and tinkering here and there, and voila! There we have it, ladies and gents, a revival of my Blogspot account.
But then again, I've also created a new account at LiveJournal. So I'm not sure if I'll be making much use of this blog anymore. To those who're interested (assuming that is, that anybody manages to come upon this post) here's my LiveJournal URL:
http://remrick.livejournal.com/
I guess that'll be all for now. Adios.

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posted by remrick @ 5:12 PM   0 comments

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Name: remrick
Home: Surigao City, Philippines
About Me: Let me tell you what I'm not: I am not predisposed to bare my guts and soul here in the internet for the whole world to see just for the sake of it. It's just that I like writing, in the free and unstructured way that blogging provides for. I simply want to express what I think and feel. Is that too much to ask? Which leads me to my next point... I am not invulnerable, in spite of all my attempts to put on a face of cool composure, and desperately wanting I was good enough to fool myself. In short, I am not really what I seem. So, would you still take my ramblings seriously?
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