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| Wednesday, April 12, 2006 |
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sentiMENTAL crap
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Time seems to slow down, and finally - stops.
The world fades into vagueness and ceases to exist...
My mind flits from one thought to another, each thought floating in nothingness. Slowly, I begin to drift into incomprehension and unconsciousness.
I am on the brink but I just couldn't seem to push myself any further... something pulls on me...
A familiar sound pierces through the haze and confusion inside my head - the sound of my cellphone ringing.
Back to reality, I find myself in bed late one Monday afternoon. I grope for my cellphone and open the text message.It wasn't the usual quote or text joke that I was expecting. It was an earnestly written message, an 'original composition' from a close friend back in high school.
What was it about? She misses high school life: the jokes and idle conversations, gimmicks and outings, the grueling academic load, especially in Math and Science (it was hard, yeah, but at least we went through those together), and the food (yes, food is a glue and eating is favorite bonding activity), and the company of barkadas and friends.
I was about to reply, tell her the feeling was mutual and try to cheer her up. But I doubt if the message would have been of any help or if it would have come through with sincerity because I needed to be consoled as much as she.
The simple text message made me think.. and this is the product of my thoughts. This is my reply.
"Life changes; memories don't," they say.
Things are bound to change, and when they do, we face the changes and try to move on with our lives... but it seems that we can never forget. Or at least, just not yet.
The memories resurface and haunt us. Sometimes, it hurts to relive what was, knowing that those things would never happen again. It's hard to let go of persons you literally grew up with and became a part of your life for four years. It's hard to abandon a life you've come to love, a life that nurtured you.
But hey, nothing's easy. Take it as it is; we have no choice. I know it's crap, but even if we refuse to move on, the circumstances have changed and things can never be brought back to the way they were.
Sometimes, it hurts us to see ourselves abandon our shared past and take diverging paths into the future. Yet there's nothing we can really do but have faith and be secure in the belief that God, in His infinite wisdom, has His reasons for having let us share each other's lives, even just for a fleeting moment, someplace in time... along the continuum of life.
Is there any hope for me?
Someday, this hodgepodge of messy and sometimes contradicting thoughts are going to get the better of me. If they don't drive me nuts...
January 17, 2006 Labels: rantings |
posted by remrick @ 11:55 AM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: remrick
Home: Surigao City, Philippines
About Me: Let me tell you what I'm not:
I am not predisposed to bare my guts and soul here in the internet for the whole world to see just for the sake of it. It's just that I like writing, in the free and unstructured way that blogging provides for. I simply want to express what I think and feel. Is that too much to ask? Which leads me to my next point...
I am not invulnerable, in spite of all my attempts to put on a face of cool composure, and desperately wanting I was good enough to fool myself.
In short, I am not really what I seem.
So, would you still take my ramblings seriously?
See my complete profile
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