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| Tuesday, April 11, 2006 |
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the dreadful wait
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the end is near.
i know that line is soooo passe already, but i just couldn't think of anything better to say. argh, even my writing's gone all awry...
but anyway, i'm not gonna write about what jam calls the "nest of faggots" thing... i think too much has already been said about that issue and i don't wanna meddle in things that do not involve me; the whole truth behind which, i have yet to know...
well, moving on... i have my own issues to attend to. i know it's so stupid, but there are things that worry me more than my upcoming final exams (and hell week)...
first is the impending end of the semester. you might be thinking i'm gonna get all mushy and stuff... oh, please... spare me... it's not about that, although i'm surely gonna miss my basement family... rather, it's about the end of a whole way of living... it's been over 9 months, and you could say that i've gotten to love the life i'm leading right now. sure, i miss home and my parents, but it isn't easy to let go of things and start all over again from scratch. what's more is that it's highly uncertain whether or not i'll still be able to see the people (especially the person?) i want to see... and even if i do see them again, it'll all be so different because the circumstances will have changed a great deal by then... sigh...
and aside from all that, there's the issue of my summer vacation... since my parents aren't gonna let me take summer classes (that means goodbye to my hopes of getting into dorms, if ever i don't get recommended), i'll be forced to go home and spend the rest of the summer in sweltering surigao... i'm gonna lock myself inside the house and bore myself to death... sheeesh, heaven forbid... i know; i should keep my parents company since all my older siblings aren't going home... it's just that... how do i say this?... there are more productive things that i could do here in UP during the summer term... but no matter how much i insist, it's no use because my parents are never gonna grant my request... that's almost certain...
so, here i am... moping and waiting in dreadful anticipation of the things to come... the sem's ending... it would be nice if we could part ways properly, but there are some goodbyes that can never be said...
blah, it's no use... everything happens for a reason and i'll just have to have faith and trust that God has some surprises in store for me... so, it all goes back to hoping... that seems to be all that i'm able to do lately... ;(
March 18, 2006Labels: ragings |
posted by remrick @ 3:44 PM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: remrick
Home: Surigao City, Philippines
About Me: Let me tell you what I'm not:
I am not predisposed to bare my guts and soul here in the internet for the whole world to see just for the sake of it. It's just that I like writing, in the free and unstructured way that blogging provides for. I simply want to express what I think and feel. Is that too much to ask? Which leads me to my next point...
I am not invulnerable, in spite of all my attempts to put on a face of cool composure, and desperately wanting I was good enough to fool myself.
In short, I am not really what I seem.
So, would you still take my ramblings seriously?
See my complete profile
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