Classes are suspended.
The palace says there are threats to national security, blah, blah, blah... so they declared that there'd be no classes in all levels today.
I am hopelessly bored. I know; I should have done something productive like studying for my Math100 exam this Wednesday, among other things.
But one can hardly study when you know there's a beautiful, quiet day waiting outside (never mind the politicial tension, threats to security, and all the uncertainty in the air) and that you've got all day to take a break from all the academic stuff you usually have to put up with. But anyway, I'm not here to bore you with how I lazed off this boring Monday away. I'm here to write about, what else, but the recent developments in our country today?
I know I'm just a tiny voice crying out amidst the barrage of noise that's already being directed at our nation's affairs. But sometimes, we need to pitch in our little voices to make our collective cry be heard. We are living in dark times.
Just when we were celebrating the 20th anniversary of the event that toppled a dictatorship, a new tyrrant has emerged. A tiny tyrrant at that, but a tyrrant nonetheless.
Procalamation 1017 is a veiled assault on our freedom and democracy. It's martail law all over gain, but this time it's got a different name.
What's in a name? Everything.
You see, there are built-in safeguards in our present constitution against martial rule. But what if the president does not invoke martial rule but instead imposes a decree which is essentially the same, but is defined and called by the government as otherwise? The safeguards then become useless.
The President hasn't declared martial law; she has instead circumvented the safegurads against it by declaring something similar to it under a different name: Proclamation 1017. As of now, there are not-so-subtle threats to press freedom. The government is harrassing the media for airing protest, dissent, criticisms or any material that is anti-GMA. The President has imposed a blanket prohibition against rallies, which is unconstitutional and is a blatant violation of our rights and freedom. The authorities have arrested leaders of groups who are critical of the Arroyo administration with the flimsiest of bases.
What's next? Storm UP and arrest the students? You see, in a state of national emergency, the state has the right to protect itself and its institutions. But a state of emergency is not to be used as a means to defend a President who wants to stay in power and is exhausting all means to do so. What's happening is that everything considered as critical of the President and the administration is considered as a threat to national security. This should not be the case. The President is not the State.
I have never liked activists. I see no meaning in making noise and shouting all day for change and reform. I believe that if people really are serious in pursuing reform, they should start with themselves and help in their own little ways. Anyone who cries out for change and reform without changing himself is a worthless hypocrite. But now I realize the value of collective action. I now know the importance of letting the people's voices be heard in the parliament of the streets and other unconventional venues. I now realize that protest, dissent, and criticism are part and parcel of our democracy. Take these away, and we lose our democracy and freedom.
For once I agree with the activists. It's time to take a stand. If only my dorm's Parents' Instruction Sheet allowed me, I would have joined the mobilizations. I just can't stay cooped up here in the dormitory while events that are of national importance are unfolding outside. I hope people recognize the gravity of the situation; of how our liberties are being suppressed and denied us. Shall we wait until things worsen and we completely lose our freedom?
There comes a time when we need to put aside indecision and personal considerations to further a cause much greater than ourselves. In this case, the fight is for the defense of freedom, of the liberties and rights born of the blood of Filipino martyrs and heroes.
It's time. Time to get down from my ivory tower and get involved. Time to go out and join the fray. Time to add my voice to those crying for change and the defense of democracy. Time to do my little part, even if it's just letting my voice of protest and dissent be heard.
To quote Conrado de Quiros:
Protest. Defy. Fight back.
February 27, 2006
where reason ends
I saw you this morning.
Back at the mess hall, you were conversing with a friend over breakfast. Though at first glance I barely recognized you, as my eyes were still drooping and I was still so sleepy, I just couldn't miss those eyes.
The morning air was crisp and I was sniffing all the way to the mess hall, still tired from sleeping late last night. But seeing you there smiling, those oriental eyes crinkling in laughter... damn... I don't know... I can't describe the feeling... sheer exhilaration?... pure bliss?... words really couldn't say it...
Looking over the top of my GA mug, stealing glances in between sips of hot chocolate, I just couldn't take my eyes off you. I could have stayed there watching you the whole day . I hope you didn't notice, especially when I would avert my eyes each time they met yours.
Funny how I only started to notice you these past few weeks. We'd bump into each other at the lobby every now and then; I'd see you at the TV area and meet you along the Freshie Walk, and always, I would be drawn to those eyes... I don't really know what's so special about them. It's just that I find them so... interesting.
You would almost always be alone whenever I'd see you. You seem to be a loner as I rarely see you with friends and only once or twice have I seen you smile. There's something about you... the thick straight hair... those thin lips... the brooding looks, with those sad but penetrating eyes... I can't put on a finger on just exactly what makes you so intriguing.
You're everywhere and you don't know what it does to me. I'm falling apart and I'm finding it hard to recognize the bits and pieces that used to be "me".
Whatever happened to my emotional detachment and cool composure? If ever there was a virus that could lodge itself into my system and I could never seem to be able to flush out, it would be you. Whenever I lay down in bed, the image of your face floats in the darkness. You're always there.
Argh... what is wrong with me? I can't even believe I'm actually putting this in writing, in the internet of all places! Have my wits finally deserted me? I don't - can't - seem to be able to understand... that seems to be happening to me often these past few days.
Damn it.
It can't be. I think I've fallen. Hard.
Oh great, perfect timing... just when Valentine's is just around the corner...
And all because of a pair of eyes...
God help
me.
February 1o, 2006
The Inevitable
To live and to exist may seem like two sides of the same coin, but in fact, they are polar opposites – the former means to be dynamic and adaptable, the latter means to remain static and unchanging. The very reason why we live and not merely exist is because life is perpetually changing.
Why so?
Because reality is flux; it never remains the same in a particular state of being nor does it have a stiff and inflexible structure. Reality can be likened to a rich tapestry woven and re-woven according to the needs of the times. And time itself does not stay still. It always moves forward.
Life, therefore, can be said to be a progression of change. Thus, to live means to acknowledge and adapt to the changes that Fate throws our way.
This brings us to the concept of the great inevitable – change.
Much has been said and written about the concept of change. Some people welcome and embrace change, equating it with growth and progress. Others shun and deny it, refusing to accept new and changing realities. Since, as I have mentioned before, life is a progression of change, our own lives and personal experiences serve as reservoirs from which we draw on to create our own notions of change.
For some, change is painful. People lose loved ones; fortunes are reversed; and we are sometimes alienated when circumstances, places and people themselves – people we know, or at least thought we knew – change.
There are also those for whom change is pleasant and ought to be welcomed. When standards of living improve, everyone cheers. For some, change is renewal: a fresh start or a new beginning. For others, it breaks the monotony and provides variety and color to the lives we lead.
When I was young, I thought change was something you had to do. It was some sort of requirement for everyone. Our parents had always urged each one of us siblings to improve and strive to do better. I believed then that people should change to become better. If only every one would change for the better, then the whole world would become a better place. People who didn’t do well in the things they were supposed to do deserved all the criticism they got. Children who were not well behaved needed all the discipline and punishment that their parents gave them. My standards were pretty high.
But then, something happened that changed my changed views completely – I grew up.
Time and Experience, those two great pragmatists and relativists, taught me new things. My idealism was diminished somewhat.
I learned why sometimes, change is painful. It can be painful when chapters of your life shift abruptly… when things you’ve grown to like and be accustomed to have to end… when you have to part ways with people that matter to you…
I learned that I couldn’t impose my will on other people… that could I not impose changes on them… that in the end, I could not change them…
It often happens; we want to make people into what we want them to be; we want to change them – without knowing that we only have to look at ourselves.
Before, I wanted to make a difference… to change people… to change society and the existing unjust realities that needed to be changed… but I realized I had to change myself first.
Now, I have a different view of change. It’s something that must be met with caution but nevertheless, be accepted. Times and circumstances change. Why deny the inevitable? Doing so, you would only be deluding yourself. There’s no point in that. Instead, accept things as they come; adapt and learn.
The New Year brings many changes. As 2006 unfolds, we will be fraught with new problems to solve, new things to discover and learn, new faces to meet and get to know, and new vistas to explore. But in the meantime, as the world weaves and re-weaves itself around me, I’ll continue doing the inevitable – changing.
February 02, 2006
sentiMENTAL crap
Time seems to slow down, and finally - stops.
The world fades into vagueness and ceases to exist...
My mind flits from one thought to another, each thought floating in nothingness. Slowly, I begin to drift into incomprehension and unconsciousness.
I am on the brink but I just couldn't seem to push myself any further... something pulls on me...
A familiar sound pierces through the haze and confusion inside my head - the sound of my cellphone ringing.
Back to reality, I find myself in bed late one Monday afternoon. I grope for my cellphone and open the text message.
It wasn't the usual quote or text joke that I was expecting. It was an earnestly written message, an 'original composition' from a close friend back in high school.
What was it about? She misses high school life: the jokes and idle conversations, gimmicks and outings, the grueling academic load, especially in Math and Science (it was hard, yeah, but at least we went through those together), and the food (yes, food is a glue and eating is favorite bonding activity), and the company of barkadas and friends.
I was about to reply, tell her the feeling was mutual and try to cheer her up. But I doubt if the message would have been of any help or if it would have come through with sincerity because I needed to be consoled as much as she.
The simple tex message made me think... and this is the product of my thoughts. This is my reply.
"Life changes; memories don't," they say.
Things are bound to change, and when they do, we face the changes and try to move on with our lives... but it seems that we can never forget. Or at least, just not yet.
The memories resurface and haunt us. Sometimes, it hurts to relive what was, knowing that those things would never happen again. It's hard to let go of persons you literally grew up with and became a part of your life for four years. It's hard to abandon a life you've come to love, a life that nurtured you.
But hey, nothing's easy. Take it as it is; we have no choice. I know it's crap, but even if we refuse to move on, the circumstances have changed and things can never be brought back to the way they were.
Sometimes, it hurts us to see ourselves abandon our shared past and take diverging paths into the future. Yet there's nothing we can really do but have faith and be secure in the belief that God, in His infinite wisdom, has His reasons for having let us share each other's lives, even just for a fleeting moment, someplace in time... along the continuum of life.
Is there any hope for me?
Someday, this hodgepodge of messy and sometimes contradicting thoughts are going to get the better of me. If they don't drive me nuts...
January 17, 2006 Labels: ragings |
