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| Friday, April 27, 2007 |
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deteriorating vision
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Now what's wrong with my eyes?
They don't blink like mad anymore, but now I've started seeing things.
There are times when I would see small specks of multi-colored lights swimming before me. Other times, I just feel dizzy when I close my eyes. It's like the world turns around me. And when I open them again, it's back to normal.
Thankfully though, they don't happen very often. I wonder what could be wrong?
And it isn't just my physical vision that's deteriorating.
I'm drifting.
I can't seem to shake off the fact that my life has become listless lately - literally and figuratively. Even the post-it notes that used to schedule my days have been left unused. There doesn't seem to be enough of the will to do the things that have to be done - the things I know are right.
I hold back. Stuck in between, and not caring to make a choice on where to go and what to do. I can't see myself anymore, let alone make out what lies before me. And frankly, I don't seem to care anymore.
I don't think I've lost sight of where I'm ultimately headed. It's just that it seems so far away, and I so easily get lost in the mundane details of the here and now. And I can't seem to get myself going to where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to do.
And as usual, I don't know the why and how. I don't have the answers again.
Doses of depression, and bouts of indecision and indifference. They muddle my thoughts and cloud my vision.
When will I be able to see clearly again?
There's just enough light for me to make one step at a time. A faint flashlight - no, a flickering candle in a dungeon. I hope it doesn't completely go out.
No, it musn't go out.Labels: rantings |
posted by remrick @ 5:57 PM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: remrick
Home: Surigao City, Philippines
About Me: Let me tell you what I'm not:
I am not predisposed to bare my guts and soul here in the internet for the whole world to see just for the sake of it. It's just that I like writing, in the free and unstructured way that blogging provides for. I simply want to express what I think and feel. Is that too much to ask? Which leads me to my next point...
I am not invulnerable, in spite of all my attempts to put on a face of cool composure, and desperately wanting I was good enough to fool myself.
In short, I am not really what I seem.
So, would you still take my ramblings seriously?
See my complete profile
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