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| Saturday, August 30, 2008 |
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sweet vengeance
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"Why do the wicked prosper?" laments the prophet.
Why, indeed? Now I know what it means. Although Jeremiah dealt with so much more than what I'm going through right now, I now understand the principle that makes him cry out such words.
To be denied justice and to see the unrighteous violate the law with impunity grates on one's sense of right and wrong. I know that justice and judgment belong to God and it is for Him to repay the transgressions against His law, after all first and foremost the sin is committed against Him and there could be nothing more foul in His sight, but it's so hard to struggle against the temptation of taking justice into one's own hands... of fighting back... of getting even...
I want it so bad every time I remember what they did. I could probably take it if they did that to me. I would probably just wallow in self-pity and take all the hurt in. That would be so much better than letting it all out and lashing out in the process. It'd be okay if it was just me, but never the people who are dear to me. Never.
I admit that I have always had a vengeful spirit, even when I was a child. It was a perfect complement to my quicksilver temperament and burning rage. Now, that spirit threatens to resurface and overpower me again.
I want to destroy them... To make them regret every single thing they did. I want to take away and crush every good thing that they enjoy and make them wish they had never done what they had done... I could destroy their lives if I put my mind to it.... A few connections here and there and letting the right people know... Especially with the gravity of what they did...
The only thing that holds me back is the very same sense of right and wrong that they've offended. I still fear God. And I pray that He may preserve me and keep me from staining my hands.
But if I snap, I give fair warning. I pray that day does not come.Labels: ragings |
posted by remrick @ 9:01 PM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: remrick
Home: Surigao City, Philippines
About Me: Let me tell you what I'm not:
I am not predisposed to bare my guts and soul here in the internet for the whole world to see just for the sake of it. It's just that I like writing, in the free and unstructured way that blogging provides for. I simply want to express what I think and feel. Is that too much to ask? Which leads me to my next point...
I am not invulnerable, in spite of all my attempts to put on a face of cool composure, and desperately wanting I was good enough to fool myself.
In short, I am not really what I seem.
So, would you still take my ramblings seriously?
See my complete profile
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