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| Wednesday, March 28, 2007 |
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Giving up
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March 25, 2007
2:01 am
Okay, that's it. I've had enough.
After tossing and turning in bed, eyes closed while hugging my pillow tight and trying to will my thoughts to drift off to dreamland; I have come to a sobering conclusion: I can't sleep.
I can't understand why sleep won't come. After a looong day, upon arriving at the dorm at about 12:30 am, I was dead beat, desperately longing for my bed, and dying to call it a night. After my prayer time, I snuggled myself to bed and contentedly awaited blissful unconsciousness... Thirty minutes passed... and it slowly became one hour...
I finally realized that I was nowhere close to getting to sleep, and that I was staring blankly up at space like some bug-eyed gecko mesmerized by a light bulb swarming with bugs.
So here I am, scribbling down notes... wondering what could possibly be keeping me up and keeping me from getting some shut-eye...
Is it because I discovered at around noon that my notebook was missing? I mean the notebook - the big blue one where I keep all my notes for the sem. Woe to the student who loses his notes just before the finals week. Stupid me.
Or is it because I saw -bleep!-'s profile on Friendster? And it went something like this:
-Bleep- is still so... Ah, I dunno... I actually brought this upon myself because I had to search for someone on Friendster. Stupid me again.
Haha, I could almost laugh at myself for that. Almost, but not quite. That's dry humor for you.
And now, where am I headed? Where are all these thoughts leading to? To sleep, hopefully... to nothingness...
That's where I want to go right now - to the nothingness of sleep... Where there are no lost notebooks to fret about and definitely no -bleep!- who's eyes keep staring at me from that face I know all too well...
Or then again, maybe not...
There's always the matter of dreams... but at the very least, dreams, unlike some conscious thoughts that are so hard to shake off, are ephemeral and fleeting. You easily forget about them and they're buried in your inner subconscious...
Only to brought back again by a Friendster profile or the sight of a dorm that's just one street away from my own...
*sighs*
Give it up. It's complicated.Labels: -bleep- |
posted by remrick @ 4:42 PM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: remrick
Home: Surigao City, Philippines
About Me: Let me tell you what I'm not:
I am not predisposed to bare my guts and soul here in the internet for the whole world to see just for the sake of it. It's just that I like writing, in the free and unstructured way that blogging provides for. I simply want to express what I think and feel. Is that too much to ask? Which leads me to my next point...
I am not invulnerable, in spite of all my attempts to put on a face of cool composure, and desperately wanting I was good enough to fool myself.
In short, I am not really what I seem.
So, would you still take my ramblings seriously?
See my complete profile
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