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| Monday, May 28, 2007 |
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Sad thoughts
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Someone once said: "Our sweetest songs are those of saddest thought."
Those words puzzled me. I wondered why. Why do we seem to like sad stories so much? Sentimental soap operas, sappy love songs, tragic stories, and even dramatic 'reality' shows fill our TV/computer screens, movie theaters, the airwaves and our literature. Why?
I can only guess. Maybe it's because sadness, the capacity to be hurt, to feel pain and to feel for others, are so ingrained into us, they touch the very core of our humanity. It is, I guess, what makes us all-too-human.
Sorrow and joy go together because we would never have known what we'd missed without the other. In the absence of either of the two, we realize the value of what we have and what we've lost. Joy keeps it alive and beating, but it is sadness that makes the human heart tender.
Here's a sad snippet of conversation that struck me. I don't know why. It's 2 o'clock in the morning even as I write this, but the thoughts just came and stuck, wouldn't let me sleep, and I just couldn't keep myself from putting them into words.
"Look at me," he said. " I'm a mess. A wretch if there ever was one. I'm full of issues I can't even sort out, let alone resolve. Somehow, I get the feeling I don't deserve the people God brings into my life. Or the people I want to bring into my life, for that matter. In spite of all their imperfections, they seem to good to be true, and have indeed been such blessings.
How about me? Have I been a blessing to them, too? Or more of a curse?
Hahaha, I'm even laughing at myself. I just wish the sound of my laughter didn't ring so hollow even to my own ears. Or that it didn't leave such a bitter taste in my mouth.
Given a choice, would they even want me in their lives in the first place? Silence.
I'm afraid to hear the answers."
Pathetic, you might say. I had that conversation with a guy I know all too well: myself. Those words are my own. No, I don't think I need professional help just yet. And I'm not even depressed. Just... brooding.
Then why? Because I'm human, too - a sad soul that sometimes wants his sentiments - his story - to be heard. And why am I sad? I don't know. I just am, at times.
Sad thoughts can indeed be sweet. They make me appreciate life's sweetness all the more. Like bitter coffee before a box of chocolates. Or the night's darkness before the glimmer of daybreak. Or cold rain before brilliant bursts of sunshine.Labels: inside the self |
posted by remrick @ 3:45 PM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: remrick
Home: Surigao City, Philippines
About Me: Let me tell you what I'm not:
I am not predisposed to bare my guts and soul here in the internet for the whole world to see just for the sake of it. It's just that I like writing, in the free and unstructured way that blogging provides for. I simply want to express what I think and feel. Is that too much to ask? Which leads me to my next point...
I am not invulnerable, in spite of all my attempts to put on a face of cool composure, and desperately wanting I was good enough to fool myself.
In short, I am not really what I seem.
So, would you still take my ramblings seriously?
See my complete profile
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